Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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