I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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