it's too hot outside to masturbate.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
