i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
