we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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