Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
