my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
there is puke in my bra ... again
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
