my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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