Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
