Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
