Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize