guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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