i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
