is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
