porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
