I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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