In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
