I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
