he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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