Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
