Do you still have your period?
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
