I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
