Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
