In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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