Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
