Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize