I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
