These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
