I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize