so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
