Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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