two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so let's talk penis.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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