I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
