They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
