I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
