Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
