yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
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