my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
