Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
