just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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