Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
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