In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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