Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
