Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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