OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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