dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
