Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
