Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize