Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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