i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
