I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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