Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize