is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Randomize
