My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize