absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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