The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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