I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
