he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
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We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
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That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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