If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
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