im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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