make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
people are starting to question the shark bite story
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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