I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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