I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
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