shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
