this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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